Shark in the water

I've been thinking about my life a lot lately. About where it's going, what I'm doing with it now, and wondering if it is all worth it. I wonder how I'm supposed to ever be the person I am destined to become, I wonder who that person is, and how far I am from it. I wonder how this process can even apply to me, because I don't really feel like I am becoming anything...I'm not sure who the real me is or what I'm supposed to be. I know that I am in a point in my life where I can choose exactly who I want to be, I have a new chance to develop myself and my dreams and an opportunity to accomplish all of my goals...but I wonder if I am taking advantage of this opportunity in the right way. When I came to Western, I barely had anyone around me that I knew, it was a very fresh start, but I wonder if I've really done it right. There are so many other things that I realize I want to do, like travel and see the world, and get married and have someone there to support me and just be there for me. I wonder if the roads I have been traveling down are the right ones, and I wonder if they aren't, if it's too late to change my path. I know my path is what defines me, but I also feel my pace on that path and what I look for when I am on it are just as important. I wonder if my goals are all just goals that I want to accomplish myself, or goals that people have told me I need to accomplish. I wonder if I will ever find someone who wants what I want, who matches me and my thoughts, my other half who wants to do everything with me. I wonder if there is someone who understands me, who can help me realize my true desires and drive me to go do them. I wonder if any of my goals, mine or not, will get accomplished. Life in general just seems like such a short time to not do what I want, but then again it feels like such a long time before I can start doing things I want, and I feel that is because society has pressured me and told me what is proper and what is not appropriate for me to do weather I want to or not. I just don't feel like anyone fully understands what I am up against, and how badly and passionately I want certain things. I've thought about all of this for a long time, some of it since I was 9 or 10. I know what I want, but no one else seems to take me seriously, like they don't actually care about what I want. I'm just hoping that I'm not alone in this idea of being stuck in a rut that you don't feel you can get out of, not because it's hard, but you don't think it's time.